In this blog I will share with you an outline of Mirror Theory which I hope will give you some food for thought towards less anxiety and inner turmoil.
The Assumptions of Mirror Theory
Mirror Theory is the art of using the outside world to show you your hidden self. It can be held together by adopting the following principles AS IF they were true.
I am responsible:
What Stephen Covey* calls “proactivity” means understanding that at any given moment there are some things that we can control and other things that we can’t.
In order to be empowered it’s important to:
- tell these two things apart and
- learn to focus on the things that we can control, also known as our “sphere of influence”
We cannot control the actions of others, disasters that take place outside our influence or things that have already happened. We can’t necessarily even control the emotions that come up for us once they’ve come up but we can choose:
- What we focus on
- What we tell ourselves about what happens
- How we engage with the emotion that arises
- What we do next
This framework doesn’t imply that you are in charge of everything, that you magically control all events or that you are able to blame for large-scale global events. It simply means that we are ABLE to RESPOND to our experience. Even in a typically disempowering situation, (for example, being thrown in jail) we get to choose what lessons we draw from the situation, what meanings we derive from it, how we manage and process the emotions that arise inside our body and what actions we take within the sphere of influence we do have.
Many people seem to find this principle offensive, especially those who are emotionally invested in the view that the world is a hostile and unfair place.
I use this framework not as an absolute truth, but as a filter to help me moderate the fact that my mind has been drastically shaped by the narratives of my past experiences.
The interesting thing about the self-responsibility frame is that those who adopt it (even if it may seem untrue at first) become more pro-active, more influential and more empowered.
This becomes much easier to live by when we have a tool like self clearing up our sleeve (or if not, get in touch with me for an emotional clearing) because we realise that emotionally charged perceptions and painful triggers can be dropped in an instant IF we have the courage to take ownership of our own experience.
Credit: Spiral School of Awakening
*Stephen Covey – author, best known for his book: Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
